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Girls Just Want to Have Fun...


… even though they may not realize it or remember how!

This article is dedicated to all the working women, stay-at-home moms, retired women, women in transition, well….. let’s just say all women, myself included!

It’s become very apparent to me over the past few months that I have a hard time having FUN!  Don’t get me wrong, I get out and do things I “enjoy” like walks on the beach, dinners at beachfront restaurants, and time with friends and family.  The fun I am talking about is described in the famous quote “Dance like nobody is watching, sing like nobody is listening, …..”.  That totally carefree, in the moment, slightly silly, “who cares how I look” kind of fun! 

This kind of fun brings you back to your youth!  It revs up your circulation and brings a sparkle to your eyes!  That’s the fun I’m talking about!

Most of my fun is much more controlled, in a box of sorts.  I keep my fun controlled by subconscious thoughts like  “Be careful not to hurt yourself” or “You’re too old to do that”, or “Don’t be silly”.  How many of us have had “fun” watching out kids or grandkids have fun?  What type of “fun” would we have had if we got out there and joined them instead of watching them?

So how did we get this way?  I can’t speak for all of you but here’s what I noticed for myself.  I became focused on being a responsible adult and began to make my choices many times based on logic (i.e. my mind) vs. my heart (i.e. that place that knows what brings me joy).  It wasn’t difficult to get in this mindset and stay there because I was successful in this mode. 

As a young adult I had a good job, a house, and a nice car.  A while later I found myself raising two kids, volunteering at school, supporting my husband building his career, managing all home improvement projects and the family finances.  Wow!  I was a machine and took pride in all that I could manage.  But the BIG thing that happened, that I didn’t fully realize until recently, is that I wasn’t having a lot of fun!  At least not the “Dance like nobody is watching” type of fun!

Ladies, I don’t know about you, but for me, this has had a huge impact on my life!  It didn’t happen all at once, it sort of crept up on me.  The bottom line is this – not having fun has dimmed my womanly spark, my womanly energy, my womanly magnetism.  Just ask my husband! 

It may not have been apparent at times, but I felt jealousy and was critical of my family.  They were out pursuing their dreams, doing things that were fun for them and here I was, taking care of “EVERYTHING” else!  A bit dramatic, wouldn’t you say?  The funny thing is, when I HAD to opportunity to have fun, many times I shut it down because that “responsibility” paradigm was running my life!  I could give example after example, but I won’t bore you with the details.  You can probably get my point.

So ladies, how do we begin to have fun again?  What do we need to do to let go of those old beliefs that are keeping us in a box of responsibility - those beliefs that keep us on the sideline of FUN vs. on the field rolling in the mud (which I remember doing as a young girl by the way!)?  It may take a bit to re-ignite the part of you that naturally wants to have fun, but it is possible!

Here are a few tips to get you started:
1.     Don’t take yourself or life so seriously.  We have all heard it – LIFE IS SHORT!
2.     Spend ten to twenty minutes brainstorming things you used to do or want to do that are fun.  Think back to your younger days as a child or young adult.
3.     Keep your eyes open for invitations to have fun (note: it may not sound like fun at first, but go with the flow and see what happens)
4.     When doing an activity that might be fun, stay fully present, take some deep breaths, relax and let go!
5.     Pick something from your brainstormed list and schedule it in your week!  Love to paint?  Sign up for that 2-hour wine and art class.  Love to dance?  Plan a date with your hubby or girlfriends and go cut loose!

Weekly opportunity:  Although this article was focused on the women, it really applies to all of us!  So this week I encourage EVERYONE to pause for 10 minutes and rate your current level of fun.  On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with the level of fun you are having in your life?  This can be tricky though, because you may feel OK about your level of fun. Think about it in relationship to your “spark” for life!  Then go through the tips above and pick one or two ideas to get you started having more fun in your life! 


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